Regrets

Regrets.

I’ve had a few…

Nah, seriously, before I can talk about all the stuff that I loved about The Day that Was, I need to get off my chest those niggles that bug me and may continue to bug me for long after.

I won’t go in to too much detail, because I don’t want to linger on unhappy thoughts, and there are some aspects I simply can’t share on a forum as public as this (and may never share with anyone), but here we go:

• I wish we had had a photobooth. I wanted one, but we decided that it was an expense we didn’t want to deal with and I never got around to trying organising a friend of a friend to do it instead. I’ll admit, Grant wasn’t ever keen on the idea and that may have swayed the decision-making, but there you go.
• I wish I had asked for leftovers to take home. Everyone remarks (thankfully) that the food was delicious, unfortunately the combination of adrenaline-pumping excitement and tightly framing dress meant I could only taste about half of the menu.
• I wish more family had come to the Saturday night party. It was great to be able to relax and party after the stress and formality of the Wedding.
• I wish that I’d set up the computer to get a copy of everyone’s photos better and had it on Thursday as well.
• I wish we’d thought of a more secure way to collect and display the cards and gifts.
• I wish I hadn’t been so late. We might have been able to take more relaxed photos instead of feeling rushed (I don’t know if Jason or the others felt rushed, but I felt rushed).
• I wish I had danced (been able to dance?) with more people. A proper Father-Daughter dance with Dad, one with Gordon and Barry, one with Grandad and Grandad and Koro.
• I wish I’d thought to mention to Jason that I wanted photos specifically of the awesome table settings and invitations. One of the few things I put a bit of effort into and I’m not sure if they got recorded “officially”.
• I wish I had invited Jason and Aneta to the Saturday party. They were awesome and, even if they didn’t come, it would have been nice to be able to socialise with them.

Le sigh.

There’s nothing to be done though. For all its imperfection, it was a great day. A great couple of days to be honest. And the most important thing is that we were married, surrounded by people we love and cherish and who love and cherish us. Right? 

Photo by We Do Photography - love them

 *love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

Let them eat cake...

I don't think I'm crazy for thinking I can bake cakes for wedding day. There's plenty of time, I've reasonably low expectations (as long as there's cake and it has icing, I'll be pretty happy) and there'll be proper dessert if the cakes suck... 

So, here are some recipes I've been salivating over for the last hour or so. 

• Caramel bundt cake - looks amazing and would be a nice shape contrast
• Ginger and Kumara cake - some kind of "healthy" option must be present; Grant doesn't like ginger, but I feel the need to show the Orstraaalians what a kumara is...
• Lemon poppyseed cake - for a light, zesty option
• Chocolate cake - although I have my own Best Chocolate Cake recipe ever, I worry it could be too moist if I wanted to make layers
• Spiced Applesauce cake - sounds deliciously wintery for our May wedding
• Lime yoghurt cake - I love limes, and yoghurt, and cake... Another light citrus option?
• Raspberry buttermilk cake - the simplicity of it just makes me smile and it sounds sooooooo yummmmmmm...
• Neapolitan cake - if I can't be a princess, can't I have a cake that reminds me of Marie Antoinette? Also, it seem a nice change from standard spongey/flourey cake
• Tiramisu cake - seeing as it's Grant's wedding too, he should get some say in (one of?) the cake(s) I suppose and he really likes tiramisu
• Orange Almond cake - for the gluten-free guests

 And then there are cheesecake recipes, because I love cheesecake and have decreed that I must eat it on my wedding day:

• Triple chocolate cheesecake - cos chocolate and cheesecake is classic
• Cappuccino Fudge cheesecake - cos the name and that layered picture are making me melt with anticipation
• New York cheesecake - cos it's classic and I love the height of the crumb layer all the way to the top
• Dulce de leche cheesecake squares - cos I can't have my Argentine family I'd love to have the delicious food they introduced to my (and my family's) life, the gloriousness that is dulce de leche

And to finish, I'll read these tips on layer cakes over and over and over. Promise.

Any advice you can share would be appreciated, including back-up options for the potential "WHY AM I DOING THIS?!" meltdown. 

 *love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

Everything's falling into place... kinda

 We’re exactly T-4 weeks, with T being W-Day, and I’ve less than a handful of days left at work before 5 weeks of leave and the common question of the moment is: “So, is everything organised?”

…

Well, do I have absolutely nothing to think about? No.

Are there still facets to finalise? Yes.

Am I worried? … No, not really. Honest.

Bridesmaids have just been measured for their dresses. I fully anticipate they will be wearing something lovely in 4 weeks time. Maybe not exactly what I had pictured – but is that the point?

Groomsmen have ties and pocket squares on order that should arrive by the end of the week, and Father has given his opinion on what he would like to wear (which I shall purchase at the same time as the groomsmen’s accoutrements). Will they all match “perfectly”? Nah. They should co-ordinate though and I don’t even like matchy-matchy stuff.

The Dress is sitting in its box ready for the plane trip. Am I certain it fits? Nope. Not really. It could be a little tight or a little loose, but I don’t want to take it out of the box to try it on in case either I can’t get it back in nicely (and then how will it fly?) or I somehow get it dirty (which is highly likely given my clumsiness). Am I freaking out? A little, but not really enough that it keeps me up late at night. Those two worries are enough to convince me it’s not worth trying it on here. If I get to NZ and it’s too small – I’ll be extra careful what I eat and make sure I exercise everyday; if it’s too loose, I’ll look into last minute adjustments or simply relax a little about food. Nothing can be done until I arrive in Wellington, so it’s not worth worrying about.

My poor Daddy. When enquiring what he wanted to wear and asking after his suggestions for the little brothers, he worried that the plans were too loose, “But I want it to be perfect”, he said. “It’s not going to be perfect, Dad,” I replied. “Something is going to wrong.”

And that’s just it. I fully expect something to go wrong, so I’m doing my best not to imagine the perfect wonderful day of my dreams (which it already isn't for various reasons). Partly to manage any possible disappointment when things go wrong. Partly because I couldn't have imagined anyone like Grant before I met him. Mostly because I sincerely hope that it's a happy and joyful day for everyone, but not the happiest day of my life - that I'm hoping is continuously updated, starting from T+1.

(source) 

 *love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

6 more weeks to go...

6 more weeks to go, 6 more weeks til - Oh, crap. 


6 weeks. 


I have no idea why that number is so much more than any other up until this point, maybe just because with each day IT'S getting closer. 


I think I'm reasonably calm. Am I? I hope so. It's not that I'm unexcited - I'm extremely excited and looking forward to 1. an awesome couple of days and 2. being married to my beloved. It's not that I'm not stressed - I'm stressed, there are a few things not going quite to plan, but what you gonna do about it? 


I think I'm calm because I've been expecting something to go wrong for the last year. I've been waiting. And with the knowledge that something(s?) will go wrong, I know that there's not always a lot I can do and it's a waste of energy to worry. 


So what if the bridesmaids dresses aren't made. That's ok. I feel very blessed and lucky and loved that Mary would offer in the first place and also that, rather than let herself get stressed out, she brought it up as not working with enough time for us to organise an alternative. Sweet. Done. Excellent. 


So what if the invitations are only being sent out in NZ this week. People, if you don't know the date (excluding Grandparents) than there a multitude of ways to contact me without an issue. I'm all over the internet. In the end, they're going out with enough time for guests to RSVP so that I can give caterers an accurate number. 


Perhaps the most calming aspect of 6 weeks is knowing that I have less than 3 weeks left of work, which means I have a little over 3 weeks in NZ before the wedding to sort out all those little details that may yet go to crap. 


We'll work it out - Me, Grant and you (because I assume the only reason you're reading this is because you care. I'm not that egotistical to imagine strangers reading...). 


Other thing 6 weeks means? Hen's night in Brissy! Not a lot planned, but I'm looking forward to an evening of special ladies from my life here in Brisbane drinking, laughing and talking smack. Should be fun times. 


On that note, please wish me continued calmness, decisive action and the strength to resist alcohol as my de-stresser (there's still That Dress... Eugh.) 


*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

Invitations procrastination

I'm terrible. 


We're now less than 9 weeks til W-Day and I'm agonising/procrastinating over getting these invitations finished. 


I've done the official wedding and second reception invitations, I just need to do an RSVP card and a registry card. Instead of diligently working at them, I'm scouring through my blog feed reader for printables for the back of the invitations, after spending an entire day the other weekend trying to make one out of the little icon that features on the invitations. 


I just remembered I scanned the fabric samples I'd bought to test my theory of table runners. What if I use them as the backing? That sounds brilliant. If I could be bothered, I might even try and co-ordinate them to the tables, but I don't think it's worth it... 


So, I thought I'd just share my mini-brain wave (and further procrastination method) with you. 


That is all. 


Wish me luck, hassle-free printing and speedy postage and you may get them by the end of next week. 


Maybe. 

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

Yes, I'm grumpy at you.

There’s one thing about being engaged that I really don’t like.

A lot of things I enjoy – my pretty ring, planning a party… Oh, and that gorgeous happy gushing of emotion when I think about the fact that I’m committing to love and spend the rest of my life with my beloved.

Some things annoy me, yes, like when people comment on our decisions, when they ask how much weight I’m losing for my dress, when they begin the comments about babies, when they assume that I’m not excited because I choose not to talk about all my wedding details all the time with everyone… But I can get past that. Most of it is well-intentioned simple curiosity and not malicious.

But there’s one thing that is making me really grumpy. And that’s the prevailing attitude that somehow marriage is going to turn me into a controlling sex-withholding selfish child-obsessed bitch and that Grant will cease to exist in his own right.

When, after their realising I’m engaged, people, both married and not, ask “Why?”. Or, after a comment about not seeing their wife in a while, or a criticism flies, or a couple bickers, or a man has obviously had his soul-crushed, they say “That’s what you have to look forward to!”. Or when people joke about being Grant becoming starved for sex as soon as we get married. Or when they assume that Grant won’t be able to do anything he wants and it will be a lifetime of "Yes, Dear..."

For example, when planning activities around our wedding, we discovered our rugby team will be playing a home game in town the day after our wedding *1*. Grant expressed interest in going, and a well-meaning friend exclaimed “You can’t do that! You’ll be married then! And the day after your wedding! Kahiwa?!” *2*. To which I replied “Why wouldn’t he go? I want to go! We love rugby!”. And I do. Rugby is one of ‘our things’, so it makes absolute perfect sense for us to go. And even if it wasn’t, is there some expectation that as soon as Grant is married he’ll be chained to either our home or my side? We’ve never been like that in our almost 8 years together, so why on earth would that change when we married?

What the?!?!!?!?!

When does the attitude towards a wedding go from being all about love and happiness (a la engagement) to one of a soul-destroying monotonous bickering marriage(a la middle-age, apparently)?

Why do we talk like that about one of society’s most important sacraments? The Christians are fighting to preserve the “sanctity of marriage” by not allowing homosexual couples the right. Homosexual couples are fighting to be allowed to enter into a legally recognised commitment. And these married people do is complain about it!

Why are the majority of quotes about marriage jokes along the lines of:

“There are really three rings to do with marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering”

I’m angry for a number of reasons:

1. If they’re so miserable, why do they stay together? If it’s not that terrible, why are they sharing these comments with me?
2. Do they think it’s funny?! Well, especially with that wedding “joke” above, I’m not f**king laughing, Nicolas… *3*
3. Do they think it’s what they’re supposed to say? Well, bullshit. “What’s popular is not always right, and what’s right is not always popular”.
4. I’m already a boiling bubbling cauldron of emotions, both positive and not, about making one of the most important decisions of my life. To have friends, acquaintances and strangers second-guessing that is not helpful.
5. Who the bloody hell do they think they are commenting on my life like that? What right do they have to assume that, just because they’re not always happy, that I might be too? Yes, I’m under no illusions that life is easy; believe me, we’ve had our own troughs. But we have fantastic peaks and the middle (for now anyway) seems to be pleasantly above the X-axis.

So. What now? If I stir on this much longer I’m going to bite someone’s head off or stab them with a fork. And that wouldn’t be good for professional nor personal relationships.

Well, my plan is to call them out on it. When they ask “Why?”, maybe I’ll say “Why not?” or “Thank you for your concern, but that’s a private decision Grant and I came to together”. When they say “That’s what you’ve got to look forward to”, maybe I’ll retort “Why do you say that?” or “What do you mean?”… We’ll see how I go.

In the meantime, any other suggestions for coping and/or confronting? 

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

---

*1* we live overseas and are returning home for the wedding

*2* I paraphrase, but you get the gist.

*3* Gotta love Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Great quotes. Classic. 

It's the final countdown...

Yep. 
I've started counting down. Today is 9 weeks away from W-Day, that's 63 sleeps until I'm Mrs B... WOOHOO!!! 


I'm getting excited, and I just can't hide it anymore. We've worked through a number of items on the to-do list in the last week or two, which feels verrrrry good, like: 

• Suits - the boys are back from Vietnam, with suits and they look swish; need to get ties
• Table decorations - dress rehearsal was successful; need to buy stuff now
• Celebrant - selected, deposit paid; need to get ceremony planner and work that out
• Party venue - booked and deposit paid; need to finalise decorations, drinks list, entertainment?
• Invitations - designed; need to print and send out (I know they're late, and I'm sorry times a million!!)

I'm also getting a little bit stressy because the to-do list is looming in the back of my mind... 


But... the countdown is on. I hope you're ready!!

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

Music to dance to

There are few different (groups of) songs to think about:

• Entrance music - pre-ceremony
• Ceremony music - during readings/signing
• Exit music - post-ceremony
• Cocktail hour background tunes
• Entrance(/First Dance?) song
• Speeches/dinner music
• Dancing music

I'm pretty much in love with the Vitamin String Quartet, as discussed previously, and spent the other night curating a Wish List of songs on iTunes. 

And then I went through some of the songs in my iTunes, thinking about which ones I liked for dancing to. Yes, there'll no doubt be a wide variety because I'm quite eclectic in my music tastes, and I know all of you lovely guests like different things too. Oh, and Grant doesn't really care so he can suggest some and all that, but not too many considering he doesn't even dance. So there :p mwuahahah


Anyways, I thinking I might like a selection of rock n roll/50s/60s songs... I have enough in my iTunes from pilfering from parentals collections of CDs, and there's this great German group The Baseballs who cover pop songs into a rock n roll beat... How awesome is that?! The question is: should we have that for the First Reception, Second Reception Party, or both? 

Other songs I'm liking: 

Ryan Shaw - We Got Love

and

Coldplay - Til Kingdom Come

and

Brooke Fraser - Love is Waiting

and

Brooke Fraser - The Thief

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

Signage

The wedding I adore the most so far included, amongst numerous other gorgeous things, pretty signs to show where everything was.

I want to do that to, but hadn't thought of a way to do it, until I found this post on Weddingbee - she's using recycled mirror/photo frames! There are a few little black mesh-like tables at Erskine that we can use, so they can be propped up around the place and used to hold the signs and flowers or something. What do you think?

The list of required frames (that I can think of so far) includes:

• Welcome - go upstairs to the "chapel" please (@ the entrance)
• Please take a program! (@ the doors to the "chapel")
• Hey, it's a photobooth. This is where you take awesome photos of yourself (@ the photobooth, funnily enough)
• This a Guest Book. Please sign something so we have a material memory of your attendance (@ the Guestbook table, probs at the bottom of the staircase)
• Do not touch the music (by the iPod/computer/speakers/whatever we decide to use for music) 
• Drinks (@ the bar)
• Food (@ the buffet table)
• Cakes (@the buffet table)
• Toilets - <-- boys | girls -->
• There's grass outside if you want and it's not raining

Any others I haven't thought of?

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Why are we waiting, we are suffocating...

Continuing my theme of Will + Kate's engagement, the topic of waiting has been raised. It's much discussed in the media that "Waity Kate-y" had dated for 8 years before finally engaging. 


It's an interesting topic, because I feel as though I've been in a similar situation. I'm not going to delude myself that it's anything like the same, but hey. 


A long time ago, in a land far away, a young girl named Kahiwa met a handsome young man we'll call Grant. She was only 16 and he was 17. Both in their last year of high school, they never imagined that 6 1/2 years later they'd be engaged, preparing to marry just 1 month before their 8 year anniversary... 


I'm now 24, and thinking back to being 16 feels like a lifetime ago. Hell, we started going out because Grant sent me a text "Do you want to go out with me?"... We've changed so much since then. Who goes into a relationship at 16 thinking, seriously, that one day you'll say you're going to spend the rest of your life (ideally) with that one person? Who even thinks of the work 'relationship' at the age of 16... 


Not me anyway. 


When you're in an adult relationship, or so I hear, there's a socially acceptable appropriate length of time to be together before engaging. I understand that to be 3-5 years. 
3 years into our relationship I was 19, in my second year of university, working part-time and flatting with Grant and 4 other boys. 19 is far too young I think. 
5 years in, I'm 21 and Grant had quit his job and just moved to Australia while I finished university. Logically, not a great time to engage oneself.  


But in my head, I don't always think rationally. Every year from the age of 19, I hoped he would ask. I knew rationally it wouldn't happen, and probably shouldn't, but I still harboured some secret (and stupid) wish that he would. Why? Because you're not supposed to have to wait that long. 
Even now, I'll find myself referring to the 7 years of being together as long enough, and that he ought to have asked earlier. 


But that's silly. Having gone through this last year being engaged and planning this wedding, I can honestly say it would have been a disaster to have done so earlier. I can see how much a difference these extra years have been when I look at how I interact with vendors, my approach to the wedding and the slim grasp on reality I hope to retain. I can see that our ability to discuss options and come to decisions together gets better as we go through this, and even 1 year ago it would have been like shit hitting a fan. 


So, thank you Grant. Thank you for making me wait. Thank you for knowing, even when I didn't, that then wasn't right like right now it. Maybe it would have been even better even later, as much as I hate to admit it. Maybe Will + Kate were right to be late-20s than our mid-20s. But at any rate, now is better than then and I'm lucky to have you making better decisions than my irrationality would have done. 


I hope that Will + Kate feel the same way; that their wait was a good decision and that the timing is now right. That Kate's had time to get used to the idea of fame and the spotlight, becoming a Royal, the responsibility she will now have to face daily. 


And that's what I have to say about that. 

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

Boutonnieres (round 2)

Or "button-holes" for the non-francophiles of us. 


As you might remember from the Ultimate Floral Test back in August, I tried 2 different boutonniere for the males. 


Have just read this post on APW - Boutonnières: or making a marriage legally binding  especially the comments, 

• "If you choose not to have boutonnieres, you will undermine the institution of marriage" 
• "My two cents is that bouts were origionally a man wearing his lady’s colors. If he doesn’t where your favorite flower, how will you know who to marry?" 
• "the tradition is that the groom wears a part of the bride’s bouquet" 

and now I'm rethinking it all. 




What about handkerchiefs? What if I tried to find handkerchiefs (I almost said vintage, I think because it's trending, but let's face it - we're not doing much else in vintage fashion and will it really matter in the end?) in different yellow/grey/black patterns? 
Grant has stipulated (I did consult him just now, honest) that he wants a plain colour. That's fine; can I get patterned ones for the rest of the boys? "I don't care as long as I don't look dumb." I'll take that as a yes :) 
The other request was could he use it, cos, you know, handkerchiefs are made to be used. I said yes, after the photos. Fair compromise, don't you think? 


Pros of handkerchiefs: less fiddly, less stress/worry to make them work, easier for boys to organise themselves (give them a bunch and they sort it out I guess), less matchy-matchy, safer in the face of seatbelts, outlet for screen-printing creativity (maybe print the stationery motif?)
Cons: not flowers (I like flowers), could end up being more expensive, more hassle in lead-up to find them all but easier on the day. 


I think I'm convinced. 

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

What we can learn from Will + Kate's engagement

Will + Kate's engagement is a classic example of the typical (and vitriolic) values of the WIC (Wedding Industrial Complex).

• The immediate focus on ring, dress, location when they've only just announced their engagement. These are not the most important things right now! 
• In the interview just minutes after the public announcement, a question about children
• The focus on Kate having "waited so long" ... as if it should have happened at some magical perfect age or length of relationship
• Questioning the meaning behind Will saying "the timing was right now" ... isn't that the point? 

It's the BIG story at the moment and I believe there are a few things we can all learn from it. In no particular order, my reflection... 

For those whose friends/family are recently engaged:

• Hold off on your questions about planning (and children!) if the engagement's just recent. While some couple develop a plan before actually officially engaging, I think it's just as common not to. Let them initiate the conversation, in the beginning anyway. Also, you shouldn't feel obliged to ask. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I still have a myriad of other aspects to my life as well as wedding planning and I'm quite happy to talk about them too, ok? 
• Some questions can be awkward. Did you see W+K shrink a little when asked what they liked about each other? It's quite a personal question, and slightly embarrassing to answer. Some people like to gush about their new Fiance, but if you're close enough to be asking this type of question, you ought to know them as a couple already. 
• Proposals are special and romantic, and they can be fun to share; remember, though, that they're also personal and not all the details need to be divulged. 

For the girls: 

• He'll ask when he's ready. If you push him, you'll just regret it - either he'll ask because he's pressured (which isn't fair or healthy) or he'll pull back. Not what you want. 
• It's hard to wait (trust me), but a strong woman has faith and trust in the relationship and each other, and has open lines of communication to share that.
• The size and price of the ring is not the most important thing. OK?
• the ring should mean something more than the number of carats
• the ring should not cost the earth
• the ring does not represent how much your partner loves you
• the ring is a symbol of love, but just a symbol - it is not the be all and end all
• your ring is yours, stay away from the path of comparison; it's not fair on anyone

For the boys: 

• It's rude to keep a lady waiting. (Yeah, that kinda contradicts my first point for the girls, but you shouldn't have been reading that anyway :p ). 
• It's especially rude and unfair to keep her waiting in the dark. By that, I mean if your thinking about, or you think she might be, you ought to be open and honest and communicate your intentions. Nobody likes to be left out of the loop. 
• Ring: see point (3) for the girls
• Proposals are an ideal opportunity for romance and being romantic, especially if you're not normally. This is one of those things that she's going to remember and talk about for the rest of her life, so make it special, ok?! If Prince William can be romantic, so can you. So there. 

Brides-to-be:

• Keep a grasp on the whole point of it all; just like Christmas, you need to remember the reason for the season (and I don't care if you're not Christian, you know what I mean :P). A wedding is a ceremony celebrating a public commitment to be the Champion of your soul's beloved. And that's Champion in the medieval sense, someone who fights on behalf of another out of a sense of duty, loyalty and love. 
• A wedding is not about a dress, nor a ring, nor a cake, nor a party, nor a day to be a Princess. Those things may be important detail, but they are not the focus. It's not about you, or just the two of you. It's about your partnership in relation to your community of family and friends. Got it? 
• On a less ranty note, if you're keeping some details secret, it's a good idea to work that out with your fiance before either of you start talking. People around you are going to be interested in the proposal/planning/aftermath. From now on, if not before, you exist as a team - a little baby family. 

That is all. 

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.

No ring. No ding-a-ling

Title courtesy of this video.

lol

Today, I want to talk about rings. Wedding rings to be specific. Because yesterday, Grant and I put down the deposit for our wedding rings - yay! We've purchased two gorgeous rings from Diamonds International in Queen Street (I love plugging stores/companies I love. Does that make me a bit whore-ish?) and I'm super-duper excited (except for one tiny thing... which I'll get to at the end*).

Thankfully, this was only our second trip out on a ring hunt, so we're doing pretty well with getting things done near the first time. 

Diamonds International is where Grant got my engagement ring from. In a super romantic gesture, he hunted all around the city, researching diamonds and settings and picked one that ticked all the boxes: big shiny diamond, good quality diamond, value for money, very pretty looking. He got fantastic service from them when he went by himself, so of course they were the first (and only) place we went to. 

Unfortunately, the first time we went back to look at rings was a big of a disaster. I made the mistake of going with Grant during his lunch-break, because his work is across the road. This meant that when the lady who served us took an extreme amount of time to look for rings and a price, we just got more and more stressed. It didn't help that, although I said blatantly we wanted to look for a ring for Grant (because of his lunchbreak) she went and got rings for me. Then she told me my suggestions were wrong, but then remarked snarkily "well, my opinion doesn't matter of course" while insisting on a particular ring style that her daughter (recently engaged) liked. She also refused to write a quote or the ring details when she realised we weren't going to buy that day. Blah blah snooty cow blah. We got over it and just decided to go back and make sure we saw somebody else. 

Therefore, when we went back yesterday, we made sure we didn't make eye contact with snooty lady, and instead kept an eye out for either Ron (who'd sold Grant my engagement ring) or another guy I'd spoken to a few times when I'd gone in to get my ring cleaned, turned out to be Chris. And Chris was lovely.

There's one thing about this whole experience that I personally don't understand. Why would nobody believe that I don't want a big flashy shiny ring? Hell, for years I had always imagined getting a three-toned russian wedding ring (examples one and two), and just not wear my engagement ring. When I told Grant that he was a bit shocked. I tried to explain that I'm clumsy, with bad spatial awareness and so I regularly drop things, lose things or just plain bang my arm/hand/leg/now ring into walls/chairs/desks/tables... I didn't want the responsibility of walking around with $xxxx worth of bling just waiting for a sudden unexpected death. I was quite happy with the idea of something simple and wearing my engagement ring as a dress ring or similar on special occasions. 

But ooohhhhhh noooooo!! Kahiwa, you must wear your bling at all times! Well, excepting in the shower, in bed, at the gym, cleaning with harsh chemicals, cooking with mushy things that might get embedded, applying lotions... So, I basically wear my ring possibly 40% of the day, thereby increasing the risk of something happening to it by 120%! Can't I just get something simple and save my ring? No Kahiwa, they tell me, your wedding ring must be shiny enough to enhance the already obscene shininess of your engagement ring. I feel like they're saying the ring is a metaphor for how much I'm loved "the bigger the ring, the better your marriage will be because you've obviously 'trained' your hubby-to-be to spend lots of money on you"... So when I had narrowed it down to 2 rings, from just one box, and Grant and Chris asked me "don't you want to see any others to compare it against?" I said "no, this one is lovely; it'll do. It's just a ring" you can imagine the looks I got. 

*It's just a ring people. Yes, it's pretty, and shiny, and expensive, and imbued with romantic meaning, but it's just a ring. I'm not any more engaged or married because I wear jewellery on a specific finger. I know I'm engaged right now, it seems as though it's a sign for everyone else to know I'm engaged or married... 

I don't want a marriage where the happiness/love factor is measured by things. Don't get me wrong, I want stuff, I love stuff, I love buying and receiving stuff. But I like the meaning behind that stuff way more. And that's why, although our rings are gorgeous (I even practised a few poses for the inevitable typical blog ring shot), the main reason I'm excited is because this is another sign it's actually happening. In less than 6 months we're going to be giving each other outward symbols of an internal vow. But they're just symbols, ok? 

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.