Help.

At the beginning of the month, I (and Grant) went to Melbourne to celebrate Aunty's birthday. *No, she's not my only Aunty, but due to Maori linguistic conditioning and for the purposes of this post, she will heretofore be referred to as Aunty.
Anyway, at Aunty's birthday dinner, for reasons I don't quite understand, our wedding was a major topic of conversation. There were a few conversations that stand out in my mind, and they all centre on the idea of help.

Now, I'm a big believer in helping. If you're moving I'll offer my (and Grant's, and not always with his knowledge) assistance. At your house, I'll help clear the table or the dishes. At your party, I'll go find extra food or drinks, and if I’m still sober and able I'll help you clean up. My childhood memories consist of fetching Nanny's stool and smokes, or making cups of tea for various family members and visitors and basically being the person that does stuff for everyone else. Not that I'm a saint or anything, I know that I complained, but that's just how it was. You did stuff for other people.

But accepting offers of help from others? That's hard. Being the one to ask it? Even harder. I'm not sure why though. Is it because I'm a perfectionist and think that I can do a better job? Maybe. Well, is it because I'm proud and don't want to be seen as unable to do it all? There's definitely some of that. What about the fact that I'm lazy and a procrastinator, and crafting the perfect email/phone call script is bloody difficult? Sure. Mostly, I think, I don't want to seem demanding. After years of declaring that I'd be the Bridezilla when I got engaged, I'm now working really hard not to become a 'zilla. And part of me thinks that asking people for help could be unwelcome and deep-down I'm a people pleaser.

It probably doesn't help that I see all these weddings on wedding blogs where the bride "incorporated so many wonderful DIY touches" or they self-catered, made their own dress, decorated the entire place, wrote their vows and played their own music as they walked down the aisle. Or they had wonderful parties where all the family and friends drank and ate and made the decorations, or a family friend who's a florist just magically appeared with a beautiful arrangement, or this bride that knows someone in every single area of a Wedding Management... I know that I shouldn't compare our wedding to anyone else’s and that it should be a reflection of us and what we like and our story and the way we're going to build a family together.

So, I want to talk about help. Specifically, the different areas that I'm coming to realise we're going to need help with. And I'm going to start by talking about some of the conversations from Aunty's birthday party.

Flowers - the ultimate test

Finally, after many months and workplace emails and discussion, Allison and I got round to testing the flower theory: whether or not we would be able to make the bouquets ourselves.

 

Taking inspiration from this photo in particular (which comes from this post), and with instruction from the wonder that is the internet (including this video and others on www.ehow.com) this is how we spent Saturday: 

1. We needed flowers. So we ventured to the Brisbane Flower Market in Rocklea (about 1hrs drive from Allison's and 20-odd minutes from mine). Now, I don't know about you, but I've seen many a television show/movie from the US particularly where they have giant warehouses of florists and flowers and all you can see for miles are petals of various colours...
   BMF is nothing like that. In fact, I think it's pretty safe to say they're crap. There were 3 vendors open, all with coldrooms the size of my lounge (which is tiny cos we live in an inner-city 2bdrm apartment) that were just 1/3 full (2/3 empty?) of half-dead flowers. And there was hardly any variety of types or colours. CRAP. Absolute crap.
   However, in the end, we spent just $50 and got a few bunches of different flowers and some floral tape and yellow ribbon. Not a complete waste, I guess... Oh, and as a comparison, one of the "wholesale florists" there had a price list - an 8" bouquet of roses would cost $150. And that's not even "proper" florists in the city prices! Ah, no thanks!
   
2. We needed food. It was now almost lunchtime and neither of us had had any breakfast, so food was needed desperately. Subway it was.
   
3. We got started. Here is where it got a bit tricky. But, suffice it to say there were no fights or even non-fights between MIL and I, in fact we worked pretty well for the afternoon especially given how different our tastes and approaches to problems can be. Allison's a lot fussier than me, but really I think it's just that I'm lazy and good enough will do ;) terrible really... but they're just flowers people!
   I won't go through all the steps because we pretty much just followed the steps in the numerous videos we found on the net.
   Instead, here are some photos...

Flowers - Let's start from the very beginning...

Let's start from the very beginning...  A very good place to start. When you read you begin with A, B, C; when you sing you begin with Do, Re, Mi...

Well, with flowers I thought  good place to start would be to think about which flowers would be in season (and therefore theoretically cheaper). Alas, I could find no list. Until... FMIL Allison found for me that which I hunted for so long... A list of when flowers are in season in NZ! Yay! Because most of the blogs I look at are American or Australian, there's no way I could trust their  list of flowers and seasons and colours and whatnot.

Of course, she found it on the first google - I must have been searching the wrong thing. Ah well, anyways, the two most useful links for flowers: 

• Is My Flower In Season?
• What Colour Does That Flower Come In?

 Which means I can now think about flowers...

Flowers Part 1. What flowers? 

First step is to visit Is My Flower In Season? 

Choose flowers based on the month. 

*Problem: I don't know what any of those flowers look like. 

*Solution: Google them all. 

*Problem: That's going to take forever, Kiwa!!

*Solution: Do it at work when you have nothing else do. 

--> Problem solved.

Flowers I like (because I'm rather certain Grant doesn't really care, but yes, he will have the ability to voice an opinion once I've narrowed down the choices):

Carnation spray (these are fake silk ones but you get the idea)

 Chysanthemums - they come in yellow and white.

 Daffodils. They also come in white or yellow.

Earilicheer daffodils.

Freesia. They come in yellow or cream

 Gypsophilia (Baby's Breath). Gorgeous, as a filler but also all by itself. And don't tell me it's a weed.

 Lillium Asiatic.

 Lillium Casablanca

 Lisianthus

 Orchid Cymbidium

Paper White

Rose - English Cream

Snapdragons

Sunflowers (of course)

Flowers Part 2. How to display them?

If it's possible, I'd like to do our flowers myself. By "myself" I mean with the help of very patient, willing, enthusiastic, wondeful friends and family... right? Right? *silence* ... Ahem. We'll cover that later. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I'd like to DIT (like DIY but in a team :D ) the flowers. In my head they're really simple - a few blooms in various glass vases/jars/bottles of different heights/sizes, to match tealight/votive candles in glass vases/jars/bottles of different heights/sizes. Surely that shouldn't be too difficult, right? Right? *silence* ... Oh dear, we're going to have to work on communication people, I think. 

Realistically, I arrange flowers all the time. You mix different heights with leaves and big petals with little buds and you move them around til they look nice in the vase. And if we're coming back to NZ at least a week (if not longer, which will likely be possible given the date which I'm not sure if we're telling everyone - besides wedding party - yet or not), that should be more than enough time... In theory...

Flowers Part 3. How to acquire them?

I have no idea. I googled "flower market near Wellington" and didn't get much. Four possible flower wholesalers, although I'm suspect because they're all in the same neck of the woods in Grenada North except for one in Pauatahanui:

1. Central Flower Wholesalers
2. Market Gardeners Ltd
3. Double D Wholesalers Ltd
4. McGavin Flowers Ltd

Does anyone have any ideas for flower wholesalers/markets? I'm thinking I'll probs get a florist to make the bouquet, but for the tables we should be able to DIT...

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Venue - almost decided?

Helloooooo.... 

So I've think we've pretty much decided on Erskine as a venue. Been sent their info pack and details. 

Before we sign up though, I wonder if someone might be able to go and check it out properly, have a meet with the events lady? I know that you (Lydia) know someone who had their wedding there, and I've seen some photos of other weddings (they put the photos up in the public, not me...). But it would be good to actually go and see it, have a look at it from our wedding point of view. I might ask Mum, but she seems to be quite busy at the moment. So, if anyone is free/keen/has an opinion, let me know? I'll try find my list of questions/thoughts/things to look out for and pass it on...

On another note, bought some cheap whiteboards off Catchoftheday and finally arrived - yay! Means I can plan and re-plan all I want all over the walls (they're sticky and removeable :D)...

That's all for now.

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Thank you!

To Sarah and Lydia, thanks! 

Mum arrived in Brisbane this morning, and with her 2 NZ bridal magazines and one wonderful (and entertaining) package from Sarah and Lydi. Love the comments on the brocures, you guys crack me up!

So, the plan tonight is to have a look over everything while Grant watched the NRL All Stars vs Indigenous All Stars (*yawn*)... 

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.