Why I'm grumpy with wedding blogs

Very soon after we got engaged, I returned home, turned on the computer, connected to the internet and began looking at wedding blogs. I'd been very good up to that point and not let myself look at anything wedding related before I was actually engaged... Except for one blog post (ok, there are 5 parts, and I devoured them all) that I just happened upon through a friend... 

But then I was engaged and I was finally allowed to look! And boy, did I look. There was Martha Stewart Weddings - The Bride's Guide, The Knot (US), The Knot (AU) and, of course, Design*Sponge which I decided I'd just interpret because everything was just so pretty. Then I found WeddingbeeOnce Wed, Project Wedding, 100 Layer Cake, Polka Dot Bride (the only Australian one I've found so far), Snippet & Ink, Rock n Roll Bride, the Sweetest Occasion, The Broke-Ass Bride and Green Wedding Shoes...

I was overwhelmed with inspiration. I couldn't read it all fast enough to process it before my unread post count grew again. I would see something I liked, mark it, and never get a chance to go back to it. Remember my previous blog posts about inspiration that no one seemed interested in? Yeah, those. Eugh. I saw too many cute and swoon things that I got fixated on flowers and favours and colours before we even had a venue. I had an entire wedding planned out in pictures in my head, and we didn't have anywhere to get married yet!! 

As you might imagine, this lead to arguments. Mostly because I had started creating a vision for our wedding that had no input from Grant at all... Yeah, good move Kahiwa. Not. 

Then, I found A Practical Wedding. And here was a blog about being a wedding being the beginning of a marriage, not an expensive party with the ultimate goal of having fabulous swoon-worthy DIY details for photographers to shoot. I relished the discussions of traditional ceremonies, graduate posts from 1, 5, 10+ year veterans looking back on their wedding day. 

And then even APW started to make me feel bad that I wasn't DIY'ing very much for our wedding or because we weren't planning a wedding under $6000 - how could we possibly justify spending more than that when all these fabulous other people have done it? What a waste - gosh. I couldn't even face the Wedding Graduate posts because I felt ashamed for spending so much money, not planning wonderfully meaningful ceremonies, blah blah blah...

I was faced with blog posts from all corners of wedding madness that were just mounting pressure 

• to have this latest trend, 
• DIY that element, 
• don't have that trend because now everyone in all of Wedding Blogland has done, 
• no do what you want because it's your wedding, 
• wedding's aren't even about you - sheesh, 
• cool brides don't care about the details
• if you don't care about the details how will you have a fabulous blog-worthy wedding
• all brides are bridezillas
• if you're cool you won't be a bridezilla
• cool brides are calm and do it all themselves
• DIT is totally the way to go
• don't you dare ask anyone for help - how you be so selfish/demanding
• the best grooms help out with the wedding planning
• Grant says the wedding is like an Australia-South Africa game whereas the marriage is the All Blacks games and that's why he doesn't care about stuff like songs and vows
• blah blah blah

And it all built up in my head until one day hormones and work stress and no sleep from when Grant was in China all combined to make me explode in "Why are you even marrying me?!" KiwaMadness... It was horrible.I have no idea where the thought even came from. I know Grant, I know what he's like, I know what he does (and doesn't do)... Suffice it to say my hormones mellowed, tears dried and I'm back to being happy and mushy and cuddly again. Especially with decisions finally made on caterers and photographer! :D

What should then appear in my inbox? This. the "10 Rules Every Bride Should Follow" according to TheKnot. I almost threw up in protest of its hipocrisy and horridness. 

So, right now I'm grumpy with Wedding Blogs. They're making me feel bad and second guess decisions I've made. And I do that easily enough as it is, I don't need peer pressure from the whole of the internet, thank you!


p.s. I've purposefully not linked to all the blogs homepages. Because I'm grumpy. If you really want them you can google them :p

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.