Help.

At the beginning of the month, I (and Grant) went to Melbourne to celebrate Aunty's birthday. *No, she's not my only Aunty, but due to Maori linguistic conditioning and for the purposes of this post, she will heretofore be referred to as Aunty.
Anyway, at Aunty's birthday dinner, for reasons I don't quite understand, our wedding was a major topic of conversation. There were a few conversations that stand out in my mind, and they all centre on the idea of help.

Now, I'm a big believer in helping. If you're moving I'll offer my (and Grant's, and not always with his knowledge) assistance. At your house, I'll help clear the table or the dishes. At your party, I'll go find extra food or drinks, and if I’m still sober and able I'll help you clean up. My childhood memories consist of fetching Nanny's stool and smokes, or making cups of tea for various family members and visitors and basically being the person that does stuff for everyone else. Not that I'm a saint or anything, I know that I complained, but that's just how it was. You did stuff for other people.

But accepting offers of help from others? That's hard. Being the one to ask it? Even harder. I'm not sure why though. Is it because I'm a perfectionist and think that I can do a better job? Maybe. Well, is it because I'm proud and don't want to be seen as unable to do it all? There's definitely some of that. What about the fact that I'm lazy and a procrastinator, and crafting the perfect email/phone call script is bloody difficult? Sure. Mostly, I think, I don't want to seem demanding. After years of declaring that I'd be the Bridezilla when I got engaged, I'm now working really hard not to become a 'zilla. And part of me thinks that asking people for help could be unwelcome and deep-down I'm a people pleaser.

It probably doesn't help that I see all these weddings on wedding blogs where the bride "incorporated so many wonderful DIY touches" or they self-catered, made their own dress, decorated the entire place, wrote their vows and played their own music as they walked down the aisle. Or they had wonderful parties where all the family and friends drank and ate and made the decorations, or a family friend who's a florist just magically appeared with a beautiful arrangement, or this bride that knows someone in every single area of a Wedding Management... I know that I shouldn't compare our wedding to anyone else’s and that it should be a reflection of us and what we like and our story and the way we're going to build a family together.

So, I want to talk about help. Specifically, the different areas that I'm coming to realise we're going to need help with. And I'm going to start by talking about some of the conversations from Aunty's birthday party.

Slacker.

Oh dear. I'm slack and useless. I admit it. I'm a slacker. I'm useless. Lazy. That person who starts a million things and never finishes them. I know, I know. Well, that and there's not been that much a-happening... Okay, so it's more that I'm useless. 

In the few weeks since my last post here's a rundown of updates:

• Venue: We have decided on Erskine :D
• Bridal party: has been finalised and we now have 3 people each side :)
• I've contacted caterers and photographers for quotes and we're comparing them all as I write this! Well, not literally, but you get my meaning, don't you?
• Stationery: the Save the Dates have been designed, by the beautifully talented Hannah Jo using stunning photos by Jake, and just need to print them out and send them. You may notice a flurry of emails asking for information and whatnot. This will be the reason.

Current topics I'm thinking about:

•  Flowers: thinking more and more seriously about doing our flowers. Examples include this video and this photo (really drawn to simple bouquets of gypsophila, roses, hydrangeas or chrysanthemums)
• Cake: thinking about making our cake, something simple (although it apparently has to have layers of ganache Grant has said) with buttercream icing on top and flower as decorations... See this Weddingbee post. What do you think?
• Ceremony music: I'm not enthused about the Bridal March at all. Had considered Pachelbel's Canon in D, but I'm sure that's a bit overdone. Then I found out about the Vitamin String Quartet and how they cover all sorts of modern pop/rock songs, e.g. Love Story - Taylor Swift, Yellow - Coldplay, Crazy in Love - Beyonce, I Do It For You - Bryan Adams, All I Want Is You - U2, Something - The Beatles, All You Need Is Love - The Beatles

In all honesty though, I'm reaching the "I don't care" point, particularly about the little details. I'm not sure if it's because 

• I've been looking at this stuff for 8 months now, and there's 9 months to go until the wedding, and the exciting tinge has worn off
• I have a basic idea of what I'd like to see and so it's all about making the effort to make it happen
• the more I read wonderful blogs like this and this (and all the other posts on theirs and other's sites), the more I'm turning around to think that I want to focus on the ceremony and the celebration of creating a new family with Grant and I at the centre, and somehow the little details are starting to pale in significance. I want to focus on the two of us becoming one, on developing a healthy working love-filled rest of our lives, not whether our cake is decorated in buttercream or fondant icing/that the flowers are made by the most talented florist/what dresses my bridesmaids wear/that my hair should be long and glorious cos that's what Real Brides' hair looks like. 

I. Just. Don't. Care. 

I want to sit down with Grant and talk about how we're going to declare our love for each other in front of our family and friends. Yes, I want there to be yellow things around us when we do that cos it's a happy colour, but No, right now I don't care whether those yellow things are freesias/pom poms/ribbons on pails/fans/programs... Nup. I'm loving looking at poems and imagining Grant reading them out to me. I'm loving reading blogs from Real Married Women where their husbands aren't Typical who lose all passion, love and romance as soon as they say "I do".  I like reading blogs about Real Brides-To-Be whose fiance's help them plan and are excited - although Grant's analogy for why he's not so enthused is most hilarious :)

To Warren, friend of my beloved and wonderful Aunty, whom I met at said Aunty's birthday party - the cake is not the be-all and end-all. I appreciate your concern about me stressing in the days beforehand trying to make a cake, I know that it comes from love and your years of experience. If someone wants to help, that would be lovely and I would shower them in happiness and love. If not, I'll make it myself - and I'm pretty sure no one's going to say "Oh no, I don't want cake. Kahiwa made it herself. Nutter". Partly because I make good cake, but mostly because it's JUST CAKE ;)

End rant. 

On a final note, anyone keen on making cake with (for?) me (us?)? ;)

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Update 15 June

What's new? How are things going with you? Good, good. Me - I mean, us? Well, since you asked... 

• More inspiration to be posted soon
• Bridal Party is pretty much decided and asked (and accepted - yay!) 
• Wedding Venue (Erskine) was visited by very helpful elves, Lydia and Teia, and we should maybe hopefully theoretically possibly have a confirmed venue soon - which means a date! 
• Once a date is confirmed, I'll be able to talk to one super-talented and wonderful Hannah Jo for her help designing the Save-the-dates.

Not much else is really happening. It's kinda stasiss hibernating mode really until a date and then it's all on!!! :D

Oh, what do you think of the new background/layout? Blogspot/Blogger now lets you edit heaps more so that's cool. 

And, I'm designing an actual wedding website on WordPress - easier to have pages and whatnot than blogger - for information that can't/shouldn't go on the invitations. That should be fun.

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Inspiration 2 June - Honeymoons and other things.

Greetings!

Grant has officially finished his 12 week challenge with Flight Centre and hasn't he done well?! He's lost:

• 15kgs
• 20cms from his abdomen
• beats in his resting heart-rate
• general sleepiness
• some negative attitude towards exercise/activity

The first prize in the competition is $15,000 of travel with Kumuka. Apparently, $15k of travel with them is a lot of travel - check out some of their tours to Africa and the Middle East. Even though Grant's done really well, there's no guarantee he's going to win, which got me thinking about Honeymoons.

Traditionally, the Groom is supposed to organise the honeymoon, and Grant has said that he will, but I can't help thinking about it - especially if we were to get it for free! Ok. I need to stop thinking about him winning because I'm going to jinx it and then we'll get nothing :(

So, here are some honeymoon inspirations I've had over the last week or so.

Videography

Well. To be honest I wasn't considering videography at all. However, Mum made the very good point about - what about those overseas or who can't make it? And it's likely there will be some even in NZ who can't/don't make it because it's going to be a small wedding. Like really small. As in even some family members will be invited to help us celebrate the next day... 

Anyhoo, so that got me thinking about videography. I always thought of it as silly - who actually watches the video of their wedding after the fact? Too many TV shows/movies have someone "accidentally" taping over it, being forced to watch it on anniversaries, when they're older showing it to their children... Come to think of it, that sounds kinda cool, except the first one. 

So, here are some videographers I've found and an example of their work:

Inspiring weddings

OML. I'm totally getting in trouble once it's found out how much time I spent on the interweb today... :|

But anyhoo, inspiring weddings. Before I forget about them:

Elizabeth and Dave - I found their wedding in a few different places: From their photographer, Yvonne Wong; Mammoth blogger, GreyLikesWeddings; and Elizabeth's own super-mammoth blog, the Beholder including an awesome post of blogs and advice for new brides - which I assume she means new-brides-to-be? ... Which is me!!! :D Ahem, sorry. But, look at the AWESOME shoes her bridemaids had here. 

I especially love the stationery at their wedding by AtlasandCampbell - view the post about the full suite here but here's a sneaky pic (hopefully I don't get stung for copyright or anything...):

And I love her hair and the photography and the colours and the overall feel that I get from the wedding... *swoon*

John and Sherry - Their wedding album is on their website, YoungHouseLove, but here is the wedding album. I like the DIY, home-style, personalised feel of their wedding. I've always liked the idea of an outdoor garden wedding/reception (although it looks like that might not happen... ah well). And they had a photobooth too, which is high on my serious Wish List. Oh! And they used yellow (including lemons and limes on the tables) as a colour, and had bees on their invitations - which as the previous post detailed, they're my new theme idea. And it was so cheap! 

And of course, the wedding that inspired me before i was even engaged: Grace and Aaron. I found their wedding on Grace's blog, Design*Sponge. Here's the first part, and there should be links at the bottom of that to the other 4 parts. Her wedding was so awesome, it was featured on that Holy Grail of weddings, Martha Stewart Weddings.

I'm sure there are more, but that's enough for now. Must. Work... 

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

First category is... Venue

Ooh. Do you like that in the corner there? Isn't it pretty?

Ahem. Anyway. First things first, my ever-growing list of ideas of venues I like. Hopefully once we've settled on a venue, we'll have a date (eek!!!!!) and be able to organise other things - obviously date will change costs of photography, catering, what flowers, any decorations (cos of the heat and stuff)... Still thinking about May, mostly because it's technically in the "off-season" for most places, so they usually offer some sort of discount. However, if we can get the same place for the same price perhaps earlier in the year, well, maybe I'll get my outdoor wedding after all! ;)

• Erskine - have a stunning old "Church" (was originally a Roman Catholic church) and a hall for the reception all in one place. Beautiful classic Gothic-type architecture. Island Bay location. --> This is my FAVOURITE so far.
• Ohariu Farm - "farm-style" location west of Johnsonville. Slightly out of the way to get to, but (again) beautiful location for photos...
• Pencarrow Lodge - similar idea to Ohariu Farm, but on the massive hilltop past Eastbourne. Out of the way, meaning would need to organise transport (not allowed private cars) for everyone which could be problematic... Stunning photo location over Wellington Harbour/Cook Straight.
• Boomrock - same idea as Pencarrow, but west of Tawa way. Same problems as Pencarrow re: transport, but similar photography bonus...
• Another idea is Old St Paul's for the ceremony and somewhere like Wellesley Boutique Hotel for the reception

The main idea at the moment for the wedding is to have the ceremony and reception with a smaller group of people and have a party with extended friends, family, workmates either at the same place later that evening or the next day.
Right now, we're leaning towards a smaller wedding ceremony/reception on, say, a Friday and then on the Saturday have a bigger party (excuse for another, shorter dress - yay!) with the extended friends and whatnot, possibly at a bar or something (with catered nibbles and bar tab). The idea is that it would make the wedding ceremony itself more intimate while still being able to celebrate the occasion with everyone and we might be able to save some money because we wouldn't be catering for 100+ for a full dinner/drinks... Theoretically. Obviously, we have to crunch numbers to see if it actually makes sense...

I'll keep you posted ;)

(hehe see what I did there? The pun on posting when I post blog posts to update you? hahaha I'm hilarious. No honestly, I'm - No, really, I'm... Fine. Be that way. Watch me not care :p)

Love love love love love
Kiwa.