Why are we waiting, we are suffocating...

Continuing my theme of Will + Kate's engagement, the topic of waiting has been raised. It's much discussed in the media that "Waity Kate-y" had dated for 8 years before finally engaging. 


It's an interesting topic, because I feel as though I've been in a similar situation. I'm not going to delude myself that it's anything like the same, but hey. 


A long time ago, in a land far away, a young girl named Kahiwa met a handsome young man we'll call Grant. She was only 16 and he was 17. Both in their last year of high school, they never imagined that 6 1/2 years later they'd be engaged, preparing to marry just 1 month before their 8 year anniversary... 


I'm now 24, and thinking back to being 16 feels like a lifetime ago. Hell, we started going out because Grant sent me a text "Do you want to go out with me?"... We've changed so much since then. Who goes into a relationship at 16 thinking, seriously, that one day you'll say you're going to spend the rest of your life (ideally) with that one person? Who even thinks of the work 'relationship' at the age of 16... 


Not me anyway. 


When you're in an adult relationship, or so I hear, there's a socially acceptable appropriate length of time to be together before engaging. I understand that to be 3-5 years. 
3 years into our relationship I was 19, in my second year of university, working part-time and flatting with Grant and 4 other boys. 19 is far too young I think. 
5 years in, I'm 21 and Grant had quit his job and just moved to Australia while I finished university. Logically, not a great time to engage oneself.  


But in my head, I don't always think rationally. Every year from the age of 19, I hoped he would ask. I knew rationally it wouldn't happen, and probably shouldn't, but I still harboured some secret (and stupid) wish that he would. Why? Because you're not supposed to have to wait that long. 
Even now, I'll find myself referring to the 7 years of being together as long enough, and that he ought to have asked earlier. 


But that's silly. Having gone through this last year being engaged and planning this wedding, I can honestly say it would have been a disaster to have done so earlier. I can see how much a difference these extra years have been when I look at how I interact with vendors, my approach to the wedding and the slim grasp on reality I hope to retain. I can see that our ability to discuss options and come to decisions together gets better as we go through this, and even 1 year ago it would have been like shit hitting a fan. 


So, thank you Grant. Thank you for making me wait. Thank you for knowing, even when I didn't, that then wasn't right like right now it. Maybe it would have been even better even later, as much as I hate to admit it. Maybe Will + Kate were right to be late-20s than our mid-20s. But at any rate, now is better than then and I'm lucky to have you making better decisions than my irrationality would have done. 


I hope that Will + Kate feel the same way; that their wait was a good decision and that the timing is now right. That Kate's had time to get used to the idea of fame and the spotlight, becoming a Royal, the responsibility she will now have to face daily. 


And that's what I have to say about that. 

*love love love love love* 
Kiwa.