Hooking up the bridesmaids. With Dresses.

Yesterday I took part in what I think of as the first official Bride-to-be activity. I went shopping for bridesmaid dresses.

Woah.

Intense. In a good way ;)

BM Lyds and I started off by visiting Sherezad Silks in Wellington. And making fun of the numerous horrific fabrics in there. Rather loudly. What a great start to an afternoon!
We were met by MoH Teia and BM Dee's mum Mary and sister Mim. Oh, and my mother as well. We looked at pre-made dresses and at fabrics. Because this is one area where I'm being rather indecisive.

I couldn't decide between buying dresses already made or to try and find fabric and a pattern and have them made. Which is easiest? Because that's rather important criteria. With me in Brissy, 2 girls here and 1 in Canada, easy is a big deal.

I couldn't decide on a style. I know that I don't want them to all be exactly the same. They should co-ordinate rather than match. Happily, I have wonderfully diverse friends, and this is reflected in my special girls. They're all quite different in body shape, fashion tastes, colourings and, of course, in personalities. So, it's important to me that they're comfortable. If that means they wear different dresses, or in different colours, I'm happy with that.

A rather heated discussion last night was who should like the dresses more - me, or the girls. Reasons from the "me" corner included the fact they'll be in my photos and it's my day. And no, I don't want to look at dresses I don't like in our wedding photos for the rest of my life. In the "girls" corner was the fact they'll be paying for them, wearing them all day and then having to smile and look happy and comfortable in photos. All day.

I couldn't decide on a colour. I think I may have made some people grumpy when they asked "what colours?" and I replied "Ummm black or gunmetal grey, maybe yellow or peachy-orange, or a champagne?" ... hehe oh dear... I'm sorry :( but it's true, I don't really mind what colour they wear as long as it looks good on them and they like it. So, I purposefully kept my mind open on colours until we found something that they liked.

To the wonderfully patient and giving Mary, our fabulously endearing Mim, ever-wallet-ready and decisive Mother and of course Lyds and Teia, without whom I would never laugh as much, thank you for a rushed but surprisingly productive afternoon. Thank you for sharing opinions (even though I had to remind a certain someone she had promised a Decisive Day ;) hehe), critiques, options and listening to everyone else's.

In the end, we found a nice style dress that we think would look good on all 3 girls. We also found a gorgeous gunmetal grey fabric that is lovely and slinky and shiny, along with a perfectly bright yellow chiffon (for a sash maybe?). We also found pretty polkadot ivory satiny fabric for a party dress, maybe? Hmmm....? 

Anyways, I had already had a chat with BM Dee via fb chat (love technology!) and we'd gone through some simple LBD style options at stores like Stax, Supre, Glassons, Principals. And so, in the next instalment of the BM Dress Hunt we'll be going to a Westfield to try a zillion things on and also look for a pattern. Wish us luck ;)

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Mushy Musings whilst I wait...

Written while waiting at Brisbane Airport to get on the plane to Wellington. 

Lately, I've been getting pretty mushy. I'm happy like gooey toasted marshmallows, go-with-the-flow/it'll-work like mushy peas. I swear my inner monologue could write a Mills & Boon novel - minus the sex scenes, cos I have no idea how they write those. Seriously.

It's strange, because I don't think of my and Grant's relationship as being romantic in the typical sense so I didn't expect this. He doesn't recite poems, sing serenades, write mushy texts or send flowers regularly. Ours is not a house where you'll hear declarations of love to rival a sonnet, nor does it abound with (embarrassing) compliments.
Our romantic is a little different. It's Grant buying me a yellow rose plant to grow when he was out "shopping" for a work thing. Or him eating almost anything I serve up for dinner (because I'm very experimental). It's a cuddle on the couch that's so comfy I'd rather go to sleep there and squished up than in bed alone. It's "love you, see you later" when we leave for the day rather than "have a good day" because the best part of the day will be probably be when we're both home together again. And all sorts of other little things.

Why am I sharing this?

I don't really know.

I think because a lot of the time I'm not excited about all the little things in the wedding. Yeah, I'm talking about them and I'm glad to find them, but mostly I just want to find them and get them sorted. So, I don't want you to think I'm not excited about getting married. Cos I totally am. Also, if I'm away with the fairies and incessantly positive, this is probably why ;)

I'm really enjoying being engaged. It's got all the anticipation of being married and we're planning an awesome party. It has its stresses, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime period. I'm surprisingly not stressed. I expected to be. I expected to become Bridezilla. I'm not sure if it's latent procrastination and I'll get massiveo stressed later, selective dismissal where my head is so overwhelmed I'm just not thinking about it, or me being in gooey-gooey happy fantasyland.

Right now I'm passing time away at the airport. I like to think about the ceremony and look over different readings. It will be a civil ceremony so we have almost free reign and the options are vast, almost too vast. To try and narrow it down and find meaningful readings, vows and songs I'm thinking about what makes us unique - like the mush before. I'll go into more detail about the ceremony in another post.

Maybe it's because I'm drinking my way through a mini $8 bottle of duty free gin and lemonade.

Whichever reason it is, I'm pretty happy right now. I'm excited to go to Wellington and get stuff sorted, excited to see my sister and friend as Maid of Honour and Bridesmaid. I'm so happy I'm sitting here with a 2 hour flight delay and I'm stoked about $12 meal voucher and mini bottles of gin.

And my pretty shiny ring ;)

*I did get grumpy when I had to wait at Auckland International Airport from 1.30am until 5am when the Domestic Airport opened, and then until 6am for the flight to Wellington. All by myself. With multiple bags and no one to watch them and no sleep. But I had a sleep when I got to Mum's and it was all good. Promise :)

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Prepping for the return home

Greetings! 
Firstly, should helpfully point out that Save The Date's are in the mail :D Ozzies should get theirs by the end of the week, NZers by next week (they're being sent to Mother/Teia to then forward on cos it made no sense to mail them individually from here) and internationals I have no idea when yours will arrive... Thanks in a million fillion ways must go to Hannah for designing, Jake for pictures and Grant for his wonderful contribution of shopping (even though we didn't use them) and then finding cheap printers. 

Mostly, It's not long now until I've returned home, albeit briefly, and I'm excited! I am very lucky that Mother offered to pay for me to go back to Wellington for my birthday way back in August, and then I found super cheap flights - return from Brisbane to Wellington with Air New Zealand for $250!! Gotta love my obsession with signing up for every contest on the internet, hmmmm? Big yay's for www.homesweetas.com.au - Air NZ's Trans-Tasman Grab a Seat.

Very quickly, here's the plan for my lightning fast sojourn: 

• Finalise important details like
• Caterers
• Photographers
• Wholesale flowers/Florists
• Research things like
• Bridesmaid dresses
• Venue for the Party
• Catch up with
• Parents
• Cousins and other family
• My best girls
• Jake

I'm hoping that by the time I leave I'll have a caterer and photographer picked, an idea of bridesmaid dresses and whether or not we can do our own flowers. Is that too ambitious for 3 weeks time? I hope not, cos I'm getting over this stasis...

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Help.

At the beginning of the month, I (and Grant) went to Melbourne to celebrate Aunty's birthday. *No, she's not my only Aunty, but due to Maori linguistic conditioning and for the purposes of this post, she will heretofore be referred to as Aunty.
Anyway, at Aunty's birthday dinner, for reasons I don't quite understand, our wedding was a major topic of conversation. There were a few conversations that stand out in my mind, and they all centre on the idea of help.

Now, I'm a big believer in helping. If you're moving I'll offer my (and Grant's, and not always with his knowledge) assistance. At your house, I'll help clear the table or the dishes. At your party, I'll go find extra food or drinks, and if I’m still sober and able I'll help you clean up. My childhood memories consist of fetching Nanny's stool and smokes, or making cups of tea for various family members and visitors and basically being the person that does stuff for everyone else. Not that I'm a saint or anything, I know that I complained, but that's just how it was. You did stuff for other people.

But accepting offers of help from others? That's hard. Being the one to ask it? Even harder. I'm not sure why though. Is it because I'm a perfectionist and think that I can do a better job? Maybe. Well, is it because I'm proud and don't want to be seen as unable to do it all? There's definitely some of that. What about the fact that I'm lazy and a procrastinator, and crafting the perfect email/phone call script is bloody difficult? Sure. Mostly, I think, I don't want to seem demanding. After years of declaring that I'd be the Bridezilla when I got engaged, I'm now working really hard not to become a 'zilla. And part of me thinks that asking people for help could be unwelcome and deep-down I'm a people pleaser.

It probably doesn't help that I see all these weddings on wedding blogs where the bride "incorporated so many wonderful DIY touches" or they self-catered, made their own dress, decorated the entire place, wrote their vows and played their own music as they walked down the aisle. Or they had wonderful parties where all the family and friends drank and ate and made the decorations, or a family friend who's a florist just magically appeared with a beautiful arrangement, or this bride that knows someone in every single area of a Wedding Management... I know that I shouldn't compare our wedding to anyone else’s and that it should be a reflection of us and what we like and our story and the way we're going to build a family together.

So, I want to talk about help. Specifically, the different areas that I'm coming to realise we're going to need help with. And I'm going to start by talking about some of the conversations from Aunty's birthday party.

Flowers - the ultimate test

Finally, after many months and workplace emails and discussion, Allison and I got round to testing the flower theory: whether or not we would be able to make the bouquets ourselves.

 

Taking inspiration from this photo in particular (which comes from this post), and with instruction from the wonder that is the internet (including this video and others on www.ehow.com) this is how we spent Saturday: 

1. We needed flowers. So we ventured to the Brisbane Flower Market in Rocklea (about 1hrs drive from Allison's and 20-odd minutes from mine). Now, I don't know about you, but I've seen many a television show/movie from the US particularly where they have giant warehouses of florists and flowers and all you can see for miles are petals of various colours...
   BMF is nothing like that. In fact, I think it's pretty safe to say they're crap. There were 3 vendors open, all with coldrooms the size of my lounge (which is tiny cos we live in an inner-city 2bdrm apartment) that were just 1/3 full (2/3 empty?) of half-dead flowers. And there was hardly any variety of types or colours. CRAP. Absolute crap.
   However, in the end, we spent just $50 and got a few bunches of different flowers and some floral tape and yellow ribbon. Not a complete waste, I guess... Oh, and as a comparison, one of the "wholesale florists" there had a price list - an 8" bouquet of roses would cost $150. And that's not even "proper" florists in the city prices! Ah, no thanks!
   
2. We needed food. It was now almost lunchtime and neither of us had had any breakfast, so food was needed desperately. Subway it was.
   
3. We got started. Here is where it got a bit tricky. But, suffice it to say there were no fights or even non-fights between MIL and I, in fact we worked pretty well for the afternoon especially given how different our tastes and approaches to problems can be. Allison's a lot fussier than me, but really I think it's just that I'm lazy and good enough will do ;) terrible really... but they're just flowers people!
   I won't go through all the steps because we pretty much just followed the steps in the numerous videos we found on the net.
   Instead, here are some photos...

Slacker.

Oh dear. I'm slack and useless. I admit it. I'm a slacker. I'm useless. Lazy. That person who starts a million things and never finishes them. I know, I know. Well, that and there's not been that much a-happening... Okay, so it's more that I'm useless. 

In the few weeks since my last post here's a rundown of updates:

• Venue: We have decided on Erskine :D
• Bridal party: has been finalised and we now have 3 people each side :)
• I've contacted caterers and photographers for quotes and we're comparing them all as I write this! Well, not literally, but you get my meaning, don't you?
• Stationery: the Save the Dates have been designed, by the beautifully talented Hannah Jo using stunning photos by Jake, and just need to print them out and send them. You may notice a flurry of emails asking for information and whatnot. This will be the reason.

Current topics I'm thinking about:

•  Flowers: thinking more and more seriously about doing our flowers. Examples include this video and this photo (really drawn to simple bouquets of gypsophila, roses, hydrangeas or chrysanthemums)
• Cake: thinking about making our cake, something simple (although it apparently has to have layers of ganache Grant has said) with buttercream icing on top and flower as decorations... See this Weddingbee post. What do you think?
• Ceremony music: I'm not enthused about the Bridal March at all. Had considered Pachelbel's Canon in D, but I'm sure that's a bit overdone. Then I found out about the Vitamin String Quartet and how they cover all sorts of modern pop/rock songs, e.g. Love Story - Taylor Swift, Yellow - Coldplay, Crazy in Love - Beyonce, I Do It For You - Bryan Adams, All I Want Is You - U2, Something - The Beatles, All You Need Is Love - The Beatles

In all honesty though, I'm reaching the "I don't care" point, particularly about the little details. I'm not sure if it's because 

• I've been looking at this stuff for 8 months now, and there's 9 months to go until the wedding, and the exciting tinge has worn off
• I have a basic idea of what I'd like to see and so it's all about making the effort to make it happen
• the more I read wonderful blogs like this and this (and all the other posts on theirs and other's sites), the more I'm turning around to think that I want to focus on the ceremony and the celebration of creating a new family with Grant and I at the centre, and somehow the little details are starting to pale in significance. I want to focus on the two of us becoming one, on developing a healthy working love-filled rest of our lives, not whether our cake is decorated in buttercream or fondant icing/that the flowers are made by the most talented florist/what dresses my bridesmaids wear/that my hair should be long and glorious cos that's what Real Brides' hair looks like. 

I. Just. Don't. Care. 

I want to sit down with Grant and talk about how we're going to declare our love for each other in front of our family and friends. Yes, I want there to be yellow things around us when we do that cos it's a happy colour, but No, right now I don't care whether those yellow things are freesias/pom poms/ribbons on pails/fans/programs... Nup. I'm loving looking at poems and imagining Grant reading them out to me. I'm loving reading blogs from Real Married Women where their husbands aren't Typical who lose all passion, love and romance as soon as they say "I do".  I like reading blogs about Real Brides-To-Be whose fiance's help them plan and are excited - although Grant's analogy for why he's not so enthused is most hilarious :)

To Warren, friend of my beloved and wonderful Aunty, whom I met at said Aunty's birthday party - the cake is not the be-all and end-all. I appreciate your concern about me stressing in the days beforehand trying to make a cake, I know that it comes from love and your years of experience. If someone wants to help, that would be lovely and I would shower them in happiness and love. If not, I'll make it myself - and I'm pretty sure no one's going to say "Oh no, I don't want cake. Kahiwa made it herself. Nutter". Partly because I make good cake, but mostly because it's JUST CAKE ;)

End rant. 

On a final note, anyone keen on making cake with (for?) me (us?)? ;)

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Shoes!!

Inspired by this post over on Wedding Bee, I have now spent the last hour looking at shoes. Gorgeous shiny cream/ivory shoes, with heels so high I won't be able to walk but I don't care because they're soooo pretty!!!

I love shoes.
I wish I could spend a lot of money on shoes. Shoes of all colours, but probably all heeled. Ok, maybe some cute flats as well. But sexy high heel shoes... Shoes don't care if you're a size 6 or a size 16, short, tall, black, white, brown, yellow - cos you can get shoes to match/suit/coodinate/clash with you however you want.

Anyways, so here are some of my favourites:
Wedding Bee poster Miss Pudding's own shoes

(source)

White/Ivory shoes:

• Above - Zoe Wittner "Bay" (source)
• Butter-Womens-Clara-B-Peep-Toe-Wedge
• Chie-Mihara-Womens-Irene-Pump
• Martinez-Valero-Womens-Olivia-Platform
• Menbur-Womens-042040A04-Platform-Pump
• East Layne - Piotr Antoni "Bella"

Yellow shoes

• Lovely-People-Womens-Ingrid-Pump
• Seychelles-Runway-Womens-Pump
• Nine-West-Womens-Statement-Pleated
• Nine-West-Womens-Escher-Pump

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.