Prepping for the return home

Greetings! 
Firstly, should helpfully point out that Save The Date's are in the mail :D Ozzies should get theirs by the end of the week, NZers by next week (they're being sent to Mother/Teia to then forward on cos it made no sense to mail them individually from here) and internationals I have no idea when yours will arrive... Thanks in a million fillion ways must go to Hannah for designing, Jake for pictures and Grant for his wonderful contribution of shopping (even though we didn't use them) and then finding cheap printers. 

Mostly, It's not long now until I've returned home, albeit briefly, and I'm excited! I am very lucky that Mother offered to pay for me to go back to Wellington for my birthday way back in August, and then I found super cheap flights - return from Brisbane to Wellington with Air New Zealand for $250!! Gotta love my obsession with signing up for every contest on the internet, hmmmm? Big yay's for www.homesweetas.com.au - Air NZ's Trans-Tasman Grab a Seat.

Very quickly, here's the plan for my lightning fast sojourn: 

• Finalise important details like
• Caterers
• Photographers
• Wholesale flowers/Florists
• Research things like
• Bridesmaid dresses
• Venue for the Party
• Catch up with
• Parents
• Cousins and other family
• My best girls
• Jake

I'm hoping that by the time I leave I'll have a caterer and photographer picked, an idea of bridesmaid dresses and whether or not we can do our own flowers. Is that too ambitious for 3 weeks time? I hope not, cos I'm getting over this stasis...

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Help.

At the beginning of the month, I (and Grant) went to Melbourne to celebrate Aunty's birthday. *No, she's not my only Aunty, but due to Maori linguistic conditioning and for the purposes of this post, she will heretofore be referred to as Aunty.
Anyway, at Aunty's birthday dinner, for reasons I don't quite understand, our wedding was a major topic of conversation. There were a few conversations that stand out in my mind, and they all centre on the idea of help.

Now, I'm a big believer in helping. If you're moving I'll offer my (and Grant's, and not always with his knowledge) assistance. At your house, I'll help clear the table or the dishes. At your party, I'll go find extra food or drinks, and if I’m still sober and able I'll help you clean up. My childhood memories consist of fetching Nanny's stool and smokes, or making cups of tea for various family members and visitors and basically being the person that does stuff for everyone else. Not that I'm a saint or anything, I know that I complained, but that's just how it was. You did stuff for other people.

But accepting offers of help from others? That's hard. Being the one to ask it? Even harder. I'm not sure why though. Is it because I'm a perfectionist and think that I can do a better job? Maybe. Well, is it because I'm proud and don't want to be seen as unable to do it all? There's definitely some of that. What about the fact that I'm lazy and a procrastinator, and crafting the perfect email/phone call script is bloody difficult? Sure. Mostly, I think, I don't want to seem demanding. After years of declaring that I'd be the Bridezilla when I got engaged, I'm now working really hard not to become a 'zilla. And part of me thinks that asking people for help could be unwelcome and deep-down I'm a people pleaser.

It probably doesn't help that I see all these weddings on wedding blogs where the bride "incorporated so many wonderful DIY touches" or they self-catered, made their own dress, decorated the entire place, wrote their vows and played their own music as they walked down the aisle. Or they had wonderful parties where all the family and friends drank and ate and made the decorations, or a family friend who's a florist just magically appeared with a beautiful arrangement, or this bride that knows someone in every single area of a Wedding Management... I know that I shouldn't compare our wedding to anyone else’s and that it should be a reflection of us and what we like and our story and the way we're going to build a family together.

So, I want to talk about help. Specifically, the different areas that I'm coming to realise we're going to need help with. And I'm going to start by talking about some of the conversations from Aunty's birthday party.

Flowers - the ultimate test

Finally, after many months and workplace emails and discussion, Allison and I got round to testing the flower theory: whether or not we would be able to make the bouquets ourselves.

 

Taking inspiration from this photo in particular (which comes from this post), and with instruction from the wonder that is the internet (including this video and others on www.ehow.com) this is how we spent Saturday: 

1. We needed flowers. So we ventured to the Brisbane Flower Market in Rocklea (about 1hrs drive from Allison's and 20-odd minutes from mine). Now, I don't know about you, but I've seen many a television show/movie from the US particularly where they have giant warehouses of florists and flowers and all you can see for miles are petals of various colours...
   BMF is nothing like that. In fact, I think it's pretty safe to say they're crap. There were 3 vendors open, all with coldrooms the size of my lounge (which is tiny cos we live in an inner-city 2bdrm apartment) that were just 1/3 full (2/3 empty?) of half-dead flowers. And there was hardly any variety of types or colours. CRAP. Absolute crap.
   However, in the end, we spent just $50 and got a few bunches of different flowers and some floral tape and yellow ribbon. Not a complete waste, I guess... Oh, and as a comparison, one of the "wholesale florists" there had a price list - an 8" bouquet of roses would cost $150. And that's not even "proper" florists in the city prices! Ah, no thanks!
   
2. We needed food. It was now almost lunchtime and neither of us had had any breakfast, so food was needed desperately. Subway it was.
   
3. We got started. Here is where it got a bit tricky. But, suffice it to say there were no fights or even non-fights between MIL and I, in fact we worked pretty well for the afternoon especially given how different our tastes and approaches to problems can be. Allison's a lot fussier than me, but really I think it's just that I'm lazy and good enough will do ;) terrible really... but they're just flowers people!
   I won't go through all the steps because we pretty much just followed the steps in the numerous videos we found on the net.
   Instead, here are some photos...

Slacker.

Oh dear. I'm slack and useless. I admit it. I'm a slacker. I'm useless. Lazy. That person who starts a million things and never finishes them. I know, I know. Well, that and there's not been that much a-happening... Okay, so it's more that I'm useless. 

In the few weeks since my last post here's a rundown of updates:

• Venue: We have decided on Erskine :D
• Bridal party: has been finalised and we now have 3 people each side :)
• I've contacted caterers and photographers for quotes and we're comparing them all as I write this! Well, not literally, but you get my meaning, don't you?
• Stationery: the Save the Dates have been designed, by the beautifully talented Hannah Jo using stunning photos by Jake, and just need to print them out and send them. You may notice a flurry of emails asking for information and whatnot. This will be the reason.

Current topics I'm thinking about:

•  Flowers: thinking more and more seriously about doing our flowers. Examples include this video and this photo (really drawn to simple bouquets of gypsophila, roses, hydrangeas or chrysanthemums)
• Cake: thinking about making our cake, something simple (although it apparently has to have layers of ganache Grant has said) with buttercream icing on top and flower as decorations... See this Weddingbee post. What do you think?
• Ceremony music: I'm not enthused about the Bridal March at all. Had considered Pachelbel's Canon in D, but I'm sure that's a bit overdone. Then I found out about the Vitamin String Quartet and how they cover all sorts of modern pop/rock songs, e.g. Love Story - Taylor Swift, Yellow - Coldplay, Crazy in Love - Beyonce, I Do It For You - Bryan Adams, All I Want Is You - U2, Something - The Beatles, All You Need Is Love - The Beatles

In all honesty though, I'm reaching the "I don't care" point, particularly about the little details. I'm not sure if it's because 

• I've been looking at this stuff for 8 months now, and there's 9 months to go until the wedding, and the exciting tinge has worn off
• I have a basic idea of what I'd like to see and so it's all about making the effort to make it happen
• the more I read wonderful blogs like this and this (and all the other posts on theirs and other's sites), the more I'm turning around to think that I want to focus on the ceremony and the celebration of creating a new family with Grant and I at the centre, and somehow the little details are starting to pale in significance. I want to focus on the two of us becoming one, on developing a healthy working love-filled rest of our lives, not whether our cake is decorated in buttercream or fondant icing/that the flowers are made by the most talented florist/what dresses my bridesmaids wear/that my hair should be long and glorious cos that's what Real Brides' hair looks like. 

I. Just. Don't. Care. 

I want to sit down with Grant and talk about how we're going to declare our love for each other in front of our family and friends. Yes, I want there to be yellow things around us when we do that cos it's a happy colour, but No, right now I don't care whether those yellow things are freesias/pom poms/ribbons on pails/fans/programs... Nup. I'm loving looking at poems and imagining Grant reading them out to me. I'm loving reading blogs from Real Married Women where their husbands aren't Typical who lose all passion, love and romance as soon as they say "I do".  I like reading blogs about Real Brides-To-Be whose fiance's help them plan and are excited - although Grant's analogy for why he's not so enthused is most hilarious :)

To Warren, friend of my beloved and wonderful Aunty, whom I met at said Aunty's birthday party - the cake is not the be-all and end-all. I appreciate your concern about me stressing in the days beforehand trying to make a cake, I know that it comes from love and your years of experience. If someone wants to help, that would be lovely and I would shower them in happiness and love. If not, I'll make it myself - and I'm pretty sure no one's going to say "Oh no, I don't want cake. Kahiwa made it herself. Nutter". Partly because I make good cake, but mostly because it's JUST CAKE ;)

End rant. 

On a final note, anyone keen on making cake with (for?) me (us?)? ;)

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Shoes!!

Inspired by this post over on Wedding Bee, I have now spent the last hour looking at shoes. Gorgeous shiny cream/ivory shoes, with heels so high I won't be able to walk but I don't care because they're soooo pretty!!!

I love shoes.
I wish I could spend a lot of money on shoes. Shoes of all colours, but probably all heeled. Ok, maybe some cute flats as well. But sexy high heel shoes... Shoes don't care if you're a size 6 or a size 16, short, tall, black, white, brown, yellow - cos you can get shoes to match/suit/coodinate/clash with you however you want.

Anyways, so here are some of my favourites:
Wedding Bee poster Miss Pudding's own shoes

(source)

White/Ivory shoes:

• Above - Zoe Wittner "Bay" (source)
• Butter-Womens-Clara-B-Peep-Toe-Wedge
• Chie-Mihara-Womens-Irene-Pump
• Martinez-Valero-Womens-Olivia-Platform
• Menbur-Womens-042040A04-Platform-Pump
• East Layne - Piotr Antoni "Bella"

Yellow shoes

• Lovely-People-Womens-Ingrid-Pump
• Seychelles-Runway-Womens-Pump
• Nine-West-Womens-Statement-Pleated
• Nine-West-Womens-Escher-Pump

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Flowers - Let's start from the very beginning...

Let's start from the very beginning...  A very good place to start. When you read you begin with A, B, C; when you sing you begin with Do, Re, Mi...

Well, with flowers I thought  good place to start would be to think about which flowers would be in season (and therefore theoretically cheaper). Alas, I could find no list. Until... FMIL Allison found for me that which I hunted for so long... A list of when flowers are in season in NZ! Yay! Because most of the blogs I look at are American or Australian, there's no way I could trust their  list of flowers and seasons and colours and whatnot.

Of course, she found it on the first google - I must have been searching the wrong thing. Ah well, anyways, the two most useful links for flowers: 

• Is My Flower In Season?
• What Colour Does That Flower Come In?

 Which means I can now think about flowers...

Flowers Part 1. What flowers? 

First step is to visit Is My Flower In Season? 

Choose flowers based on the month. 

*Problem: I don't know what any of those flowers look like. 

*Solution: Google them all. 

*Problem: That's going to take forever, Kiwa!!

*Solution: Do it at work when you have nothing else do. 

--> Problem solved.

Flowers I like (because I'm rather certain Grant doesn't really care, but yes, he will have the ability to voice an opinion once I've narrowed down the choices):

Carnation spray (these are fake silk ones but you get the idea)

 Chysanthemums - they come in yellow and white.

 Daffodils. They also come in white or yellow.

Earilicheer daffodils.

Freesia. They come in yellow or cream

 Gypsophilia (Baby's Breath). Gorgeous, as a filler but also all by itself. And don't tell me it's a weed.

 Lillium Asiatic.

 Lillium Casablanca

 Lisianthus

 Orchid Cymbidium

Paper White

Rose - English Cream

Snapdragons

Sunflowers (of course)

Flowers Part 2. How to display them?

If it's possible, I'd like to do our flowers myself. By "myself" I mean with the help of very patient, willing, enthusiastic, wondeful friends and family... right? Right? *silence* ... Ahem. We'll cover that later. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I'd like to DIT (like DIY but in a team :D ) the flowers. In my head they're really simple - a few blooms in various glass vases/jars/bottles of different heights/sizes, to match tealight/votive candles in glass vases/jars/bottles of different heights/sizes. Surely that shouldn't be too difficult, right? Right? *silence* ... Oh dear, we're going to have to work on communication people, I think. 

Realistically, I arrange flowers all the time. You mix different heights with leaves and big petals with little buds and you move them around til they look nice in the vase. And if we're coming back to NZ at least a week (if not longer, which will likely be possible given the date which I'm not sure if we're telling everyone - besides wedding party - yet or not), that should be more than enough time... In theory...

Flowers Part 3. How to acquire them?

I have no idea. I googled "flower market near Wellington" and didn't get much. Four possible flower wholesalers, although I'm suspect because they're all in the same neck of the woods in Grenada North except for one in Pauatahanui:

1. Central Flower Wholesalers
2. Market Gardeners Ltd
3. Double D Wholesalers Ltd
4. McGavin Flowers Ltd

Does anyone have any ideas for flower wholesalers/markets? I'm thinking I'll probs get a florist to make the bouquet, but for the tables we should be able to DIT...

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.

Inspiration (Boards)

Well, apparently I'm supposed to use an inspiration board whilst planning to keep my brain from overloading on wedding thoughts. Right. 

Now, because I'm so overloaded with wedding thoughts, I'm collating inspiration boards to come up with my own inspiration board. 

Eugh. 

First of all, I suppose we should try to nail down some of the inspirational things, right? 

Here's a snippet of a post from snippet & ink

Things that I think about when I make these boards are:

1. What season is it?
2. What is the mood of the event? Is it formal, casual, or something in between? Is it grand or intimate? Sophisticated? Playful?
3. What is the location? Inside or out-of-doors? How can I play up regional/local elements? Does the architecture/scenery inspire me?
4. What single element can tie everything together? Is it a theme? A certain flower or fruit?
5. How can I stretch this idea? What is unexpected but fits perfectly with all the other aspects?

So here they are (feel free to vote on your favourite):

from Inspiring Brides

Mostly I like the candles in jars, the shoes and the thank you note - here is a better image.  

Another Inspiring Brides post

The gumboots are so cute. If it's looking like it's a remote possibility of raining, I think I'm completely justified in (somehow) obtaining yellow gumboots. The umbrellas are gorgeous. And the black cake stand with yellow topped cupcakes!!!

And another Inspiring Brides post. Yep, I just clicked on the "yellow" tag and flicked through them all ;)

How cute is the yellow cardigan?! And the shoes... *swoon* Not so sure about the flowers in the glass vase, but I'm liking the idea.

This one is from Amorology Weddings.

I'm loving the damask patterns, and the mix of simple yellow and white flowers. I bought some fabric the other day with similar-ish black white and yellow damask-ey pattern which I should show you...

So in reply to those questions from the beginning: 

1. What season is it? - Autumn
2. 2. What is the mood of the event? Is it formal, casual, or something in between? Is it grand or intimate? Sophisticated? Playful? - Intimate, semi-formal. The party will be casual as.
3. 3. What is the location? Inside or out-of-doors? How can I play up regional/local elements? Does the architecture/scenery inspire me? - Inside, gothic-ish architecture in the chapel, chandeliers in the ballroom.
4. 4. What single element can tie everything together? Is it a theme? A certain flower or fruit? - Colours: yellow, ivory, black. Pattern: polka dots or damask? Glass vases/jars for the flowers?
5. 5. How can I stretch this idea? What is unexpected but fits perfectly with all the other aspects? - I have no idea. What a lame question. If I knew, it wouldn't be unexpected, would it? Or maybe it would... I'm just grumpy cos I don't know the answer :'(

*love love love love love*
Kiwa.